Love?

You know, I never could love your,

No, but a raincheck.

Plank, but a fly-speck,

Half-hearted hug.

Like holding up a rolled rug.

So I can understand you never loved my,

How high are you? I mean,

Hi how are you?

So here we are, what's up?

Have a pint, have a cup.

So, what's up; so what's up?

And you know, I never could love your.

Paper doll, aren't we all?

What's your number? Never call,

“Gotta dance, watch my purse,”

Introduce the friends you curse.

So I can understand you never loved my,

Fuck the system, got a dollar?

Plan for riches, live in squalor,

Sex is boring, wanna fuck?

Screw the Saturn, get a truck.

And you know, I never could love your,

Erica Jong, Ann Rice,

Cosmopolitan advice,

Take me out to see the sights,

Tittering ghouls and blinking lights.

So I can understand you never loved my,

William Gibson and Musashi,

Kinda sexy, kinda trashy,

Nothing on, but gotta watch.

Don't ask me, just pick a swatch.

And you know, I never could love your,

“Honey get the phone,

If it's Jess, I'm not at home”

It's someone by the name of Pete,

With whom it seems I must compete.

So I can understand you never loved my,

“Honey, get me a beer.”

Just had to see that look, my dear,

I think we're partners in a crime

These barbs we'll learn to love in time.