Rubber Check

Can I get a light?

Man, you been sendin' me

To the store for your Dunhills

Since I was a cub-scout,

Now you won't even let me

Light one on stage.

Can I get a drink?

Hey, you couldn't live with the shame

If you didn't tip your waitress,

But all I ever get from you

Is advice.

Can I crash on your floor?

Here's a little secret: I been working all month,

But I didn't get paid for that either,

And you know how landlords are.

By the way, we're all on camera.

The perpetrators will be identified,

The courtrooms and jails will be visited,

The lawyers will get their retainers,

The papers will get their story

While the victim's insurance gets adjusted.

Another soldier's casket came home yesterday,

But the House can't decide what to do with the flag,

And the family will cry, and the rebels will smile,

And we only suppress the news so we notice it more:

That our son got blown to bits to solidify our debate.

So I called up my doctor, but his office is closed.

They're gonna build another condo

Another condo, another condo

It's an investment in the future

In the future, our future

We'll be paying your mortgage

While you're trapped in your Laz-y-Boy

With your liquid meal replacements

And pills - all hail

The autonomous pharmacist!

But I'll be long gone, Do what you want

With the flag, Because I was born here

But I don't know you, I don't speak your language,

You've got nothing for me, and I've got nothing left for you,

I was your neighbors son, I sang this land is our land,

And God save the Queen, when schools still had teachers,

And kids played in the parks.

Go ahead and challenge your Charter of Rights.

I've seen your virtue, your honor,

Your opportunity, your justice,

Your freedom, your equality,

Your piety, your sportsmanship

And I sang the song about my bills

And I paid the service-charge

for your rubber check.